The Patiently Waiting Patient

Dear Readers,

Waiting is one of the most difficult characteristics of life. We wait for the bus to come; we wait for class to start; we wait while someone is in the bathroom ahead of us; we wait for the dough to rise. Wait, wait, wait, wait, and wait.All this waiting requires a great deal of patience.

I have heard patience described as, the ability to live peaceably with situations or people we do not like. I can buy that definition. This sort of waiting, with patience, makes all of life so much easier when we can actually achieve it.

This patience needs to be examined, however. Sure, it is a necessary part of most processes. And it is of primary importance when dealing with the sorts of processes surrounding many of the events and conditions encountered in the hospital setting. How could we say otherwise? Decisions that affect our life and death, and the lives of all around us, cannot be taken lightly.

Dilemmas such as experienced in cases of terminal illness tear me apart intellectually. All such moral problems do, as I suppose is the same for many, if not all, people. I try to have a consistent worldview. Sometimes this is easy. For instance, part of my worldview consists of the belief that human life is special, more so than any other life Earth. Being made in the image of God, placed as stewards of this planet and each of its inhabitants, comes with great responsibilities as well as privileges. Thus, it follows that I believe human life is to be protected at all costs and in all cases.

Often the decisions to be made following this worldview are no-brainers. Abortion, for instance. Wrong in all cases; a no-brainer. In no instance does abortion not destroy a human life.Sure, there may be sticky instances such as threats to a mother’s life. These instances are infinitesimal in the grand scheme of things. Most such abortion decisions are made simply for convenience’ sake, which in no instance is a valid reason for taking a human life.

On the other end of the spectrum are the cases of terminal illness and end-of-life decisions. They are not always so clear-cut, waiting becomes a crucial part of the process of decision-making. The differences from the above abortion example are many. The most important difference, though, is that in these cases a human life will be lost, no matter what. The paths that must be taken are not so clearly seen as when we are protecting a life, made in the image of God that in one sense, has yet to be lived.

I believe, now, the emphasis shifts to taking care of a life, still made in the image of God. This life, ending now, must be protected in a different way; one that preserves the human dignity and eliminates suffering.Patience now can appear to be a refusal to deal with circumstance and make decisions that are unavoidable. Patience now is no virtuous trait. Patience stymies our growth, frustrates our desires, and just generally makes us crazy waiting for something to happen or get done.

Who knows how I would react when actually faced with the decisions that must be made in these terminal cases. I sit here now with as clear a mind as I can have, and believe that part of preserving my dignity and that of those around me would be to see the inevitable and not avoid seeing it. There is no dishonor in laying down your king and surrendering to an opponent who has played a good game. Exit stage right.

I simply hope that I know all the conditions of the game I am playing; that the doctors and nurses and families helping me play this game, will speak frankly and clearly to me of all that I face in the game; that they will support me in the decision to lay down my king; that they will help me see that I have played the game with dignity, and am now ready to go on to the next game.

Your Hospice-Friendly, Neighborhood Apatheist,

~Bill